Not That Simple
by Mondlerloverxo
Summary: He's the boss noticing somethings not right. She's been through a year of hell. A one night stand leaves them in a difficult position and it's not as straight forward as it was meant to be. Did they make a mistake? Or did it endup being the best thing in their lives?
1. Typical Monday Morning

**I've had the idea for this story a long time, I hope you all enjoy! Please let me know if you like it!--**

 **Monica's POV**

Clicking the worn out button for the third floor, I lean my exhausted body back against the wall of the elevator.

Yet another Monday morning, same old routine day in day out. Bleeping to let me know I'm where I asked to be, the lift comes to a halt, shifting the pile of folders from my left to my right arm, I secure my bag further on my shoulder and traipse down the aisle to my desk.

Unlike the many other cluttered messes around me, my desk is organised and neat, I set down the folders letting my bag fall off my arm, effortlessly throwing it to the side of my chair. Monday's mean it's a whole lot of new account files, peoples financial problems need fixing, with me being the one who gets through them quickly, I end up with the most complicated.

I work as an accountant for a business called BingsFinance, they specialise in loans and solutions for peoples debt. Just on my level there are 60 workers, 54 of them accountants just like me, 4 of them deputy managers, then there's the main boss and his assistant.

I can't say I hate my job, I'm quite good at it if I'm honest, but it's not a career I've dreamt of from being a little girl. 5 years I've worked here and I've not had a problem, though this past year has been a real struggle.

Lately I've felt like a shadow, nothing keeping me going but my friends. In the end it's a job, it pays the bills.

Tapping in the password for my computer I fan out new files, reading the name it takes me a second for it to sin in. Everything in my body tenses, my stomach lurches a sudden feeling of nausea rushing over me. Michael Turner. The one name haunting my every move, whatever I do he's there in the back of my mind.

Somehow I've been staring at the documents for over 10 minutes, Rachel tugging back to reality sliding a mug of coffee into my hands.

"Morning, sorry I was up late, What time did you leave?" Carefully as to not spill her drink, she sits at the desk beside me.

Me and Rachel have been best friends since college, she came to work here a couple of months after me, I showed her the ropes and thankfully the boss agreed to letting us work closely together. I'm glad I have her, out of all the office snobs, she's the only one I speak to, I don't think they have anything against me, I just never speak to them. I can't be bothered with the bitchy attitudes I stumble across walking through this place, simple arguments about who got to knock on the boss' door next.

This place is set out in rows and columns of desks, but, it's a square. Basically every 2 desks in a row, and two in a column, four in total, are fitted closer together with a walkway down the middle. Me and Rachel work beside each other then Ashleigh and Caitlin in front. We don't talk to them much, they are polite when we do though.

I shake my head to get rid of the daze, "Morning, I was up early, couldn't sleep. I got here maybe an hour ago, just sat down stairs reading one of those gossip magazines" I glance up, finding her eyeing me sceptically.

"What's bothering you?" I knew she'd work out there was something wrong. I can tell with her, generally I always try my best to hide my emotion, especially through the past year. Though Rachel and my other bestfriend Phoebe knew something was up, I had to give in.

Instead of saying it, I hand over the document, watching her read It for a second before she sits up straighter clearing her throat. "You don't have anything to do with it Monica, take it to the boss, just tell him you can't deal with this client for personal reasons." tossing it back onto my desk I sigh rubbing m face with the backs of my hands.

"He'll probably make me do it anyways" I mumble eyeing the main office door.

Every woman on this floor had a thing for Mr Bing, though I never understood why. His hair was held in an annoying, spiky, messy look, he always dressed in a grey suit, undoubtedly smart but yet I still don't know what it is with him.

"Mon you've never not done work, a one off isn't a big deal. At least you'd be able to get a good look at him" She winks, I shake my head, making a noise of disgust.

"Hmm, yeah. What is it with him that you really like?" Rachel snaps her head back, looking incredulously at me. I keep my face set and she waits a second to see if I break.

I don't, "W-what!? Have you not seen him? His hair, I don't know it just makes him look sooo handsome, his body, oof, I wouldn't mind him taking me on a date sometime, his eyes, god his eyes don't even get me started. His-"

Oh god. I've started something now that'll she'll never let go. I quietly chuckle raising from my seat, she's still talking. Grasping the paper tight between my fingers, I slowly start towards the oak door keeping the barrier between me and the boss.

Just as I raise my hand to knock, the door swings open away from me, Mr Bings face centimetres from mine, as he steps uncomfortably close to me. Quickly I step back letting him come down from the shock of meeting me like this.

Stepping back, he holds open the door letting me into his office. "Miss Geller how can I help you?" He asks politely taking the seat behind his computer. I'm more than surprised to find his office, clean tidy and organised with coloured binders with tags. It's something I would've done with an office of my own.

"I-I" I generally am never at a loss for words, yet now I can't get anything out, clearing my throat I try again. "I was wondering if this client could go to somebody else?" Mumbling, I angle the folder towards him until he takes it from my fingers.

Looking a little confused for a second and eyeing the name he weighs up his options.

" I don't see why not. Can I ask what the reason is?" Lifting his head back up to me, he's got a look of almost sympathy, I don't question it though.

"Personal reasons, and I already have a lot of work so I just need a little less." he nods understandably and I offer a smile in thanks.

Opening a drawer he slides the papers in and closes it again, "Okay, let me know if you need anything else. I'd also like to say, thank you for all the hard work you put into this business, I really appreciate it. You're an amazing worker." His words are soft enough to send my cheeks a faint pink, I duck my head to hide it in embarrassment.

"Thank you Mr. Bing" With a last smile, I turn and leave the office. I have no idea why I got so nervous, as I walk back my desk I'm shot looks from all directions, god I only went to had back a file, I didn't kiss him. What is everyone's problem?

"Okay now?" Rachel asks when I return to my seat and start to click away on my keyboard once again.

I nod and smile, "Yeah he said it was no problem." Rachel grins in a 'I told you so' way I choose to ignore it and get lost in my screen.

2 pm sounds through the building, allowing a half an hour lunch break, however our boss decides he wants a meet with some of his employees.

Saving all the numbers I've ordered into a database, I close down the windows and glance at Rachel, she's just as agitated at not been able to eat out of the way of this building. Although I bet she's secretly excited for this, a meeting often just means, every worker their oggles at Mr Bing whilst me and maybe 2 or 3 others actually listen to what's happening. Rachel's split in between, she takes note of what he says but her eyes never shift from him through the whole thing.

Slowly we head to the conference room in a single file, I get a glimpse of Mr Bing at the top end of the long table. Satisfying my overly neat and organised ways, he always sets out name labels for the seats so there's no arguing, I scan the table for a second first fining Rachels name then beside it mine. She grins over at me, I look further along to find I am right next to the boss.

Great.

As If I haven't already had the dirty looks off my colleagues, with a huff I push my way past a dopey worker called Jess, she never seems to know where she is or what she's doing. Getting closer to my chair I avoid looking up especially at the man sat beside me, Rachel sits beside me her hand reaching over and gently squeezing my shoulder.

I think she knows somethings up with me being so quiet. I sound like I'm constantly complaining, honestly I'm bored of myself too. I haven't always been like this, it took one man, one mistake, to turn my world upside down.

Confidence, self-love, love life, everything thrown out of the window.

"Miss geller?" I'm shook from my thoughts at Mr.Bings increase in volume.

As if I was paying attention I nod and turn to him. "Yes?"

"Do you agree that we should use the online program to help clients?" He questions.

I gulp and look elsewhere just for a second, "Well I think it would really save people time, we wouldn't have to struggle booking appointments and swapping them. We just need to think about those who may not be able to access the internet"

He nods and so does everyone else "very good point thank you"

I smile. "Right Miss Geller Miss Green, could you stay behind for a second the rest of you can get back to work, the new program will be introduced in the next couple of weeks"

Me and Rachel stay put, confused, but we stay. The rest file back out mumbling to each other probably another dig at us.

"Miss geller, would you mind making the drinks? I've got to go and fetch something to you both, Miss Green help her?" Without another word said he also leaves the office, I glance at Rachel. I must be pulling the funniest face ever because as soon as the door slams shut she bursts out laughing.

"What!" I exclaim deliriously.

"He was staring at you through all of that meeting and you were staring back. Way to make it obvious mon" she giggles, I blush a deeper shade of red.

"No you're lying!" I shake my head shoving the chair back and standing up. I love my bestfriend, I just wish she'd drop it. "Just give it up. I'll never be with anyone again" that I couldn't help saying, it just came out.

"Mon..." a hand rests on my shoulder. My head bows tears burning my eyes. "I'm sorry. Don't say that though. Not every guy is like him. In fact hardly none of the guys are." Trying to reassure me I want to believe her, it's a struggle.

Setting three cups under the machines I click all three to be coffee. Wishing it would just hurry up I lean forward over the counter closing my eyes tight

"It's not that easy Rach" my voice cracks Rachel's face dropping. I'm not going to break down again, I don't want to break down again.

Before I know it I'm turned around my bestfriends arms wrapped around my shoulders tightly, she gets it so I don't use my little energy to explain myself further. I pull away just in time when I hear the room door open again, hoping all signs of crying have disappeared I remove the cups of coffee from the machine, add milk and sugar to both mine and Rachels, two sugars to Mr Bings and leave it black.

Once we are situated back in our seats, Mr Bing clears his throat handing us both a piece of paper set out in the same way. My eyes scan through the writing, Rachel gasps beside me and I feel eyes burning into the top of my head. Reaching the last few lines tiny bursts of relief spread through my veins. I can finally calm my life down.

The boss has rewarded me and Rachel a week off work because of all the hard work we've done, also because in all the time we've worked we've never missed anything or gotten behind somehow.

It's almost as if he knew what I needed because after all the shit I've been through this year, I need a break.

"Thank you sir" Rachel smiles at Mr Bing before standing and moving towards the door waiting back for me. I stand too ready to walk away.

"Thank you Sir" I repeat Rachels word feeling stupid. Before I can walk past him he holds up a hand for me to wait, I stop abruptly, Rachel shoots him a questionable look waiting for his explanation.

"Miss Green can you give us a minute?" Glancing up at me then at Rachel he gets to his feet shifting awkwardly, I send a small nod in the direction of the doorway eyeing the awkward man in front of me.

The door closes and his head slowly lifts back up, "Um Miss Geller, I just wanted to say I hope this break helps you out." My Boss is talking as If he knows what's gone of this year or that he has some kind of idea, no one would have told him because there's only Rachel that would ever speak to him.

My eyes narrow in uncertainty, "What do you mean?" I decide to ask.

"Um-er- well I just noticed this year you've been really distant and not really yourself. It just seemed like you've been dealing with a lot, you and your friend really deserve the time off. I just hope it'll help in whatever way." His nervous shuffling makes me smirk, though he's my boss and I'm supposed to approach this in a formal manner, but what he's just explained is really sweet and I'm not going to lie it makes me happy.

"Oh, yeah I've had some stuff. Um - Thankyou I really do appreciate it." I respond a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. With that he offers a small smile and nods in reply. I take it as my que to leave, on the other side of the door awaits Rachel, spotting my pleased look, she beams probably glad to see my smiling again.

"C'mon lets go" We walk down the aisle to our desks, quickly log off our computers, stuff any remaining paper into the drawers and grab our bags. Caitlin and Ashleigh lookback at us confused

"Where are you going?" Ashleigh sneers menacingly, in her mind anyways.

"Mr. Bing said we can have the week off, see you next week" I speak sweetly, god if I was spoken to that way, I would kick the person. Ah well, Rachel laughs as we head towards the lift, I came here so down and now I'm leaving much happier. What a good day it's been so far.


	2. That Girl

Chandlers POV

Carelessly glancing around the same 4 walls of my office for the sixth time today. It's just the same as it was 7 years ago when I became the manager, shelves and filing cabinets lining the walls, my desk to the back of the room, paperwork, and files pile on the side of my desk.

I have so much work to do but yet I have nothing. Everyone thinks that I love this job more than life because I'm the boss, it's not exactly the case.

My train of thoughts break when my office door opens, out of habit I sit up straighter and look as if I've just come away from my keyboard for a split second.

"Mr Bing have you just given that Geller girl and her friend a week off?" Course. It's Caitlin, a worker in Ms Geller and Ms Green's square. I can't help but notice the absurd way she is angling her body, she's a tall girl with long blonde hair, wearing her work skirt and blouse unbuttoned unreasonably low. Leaning against the door frame, her back is arched out, I'm more than certain she believes it will somehow get me to look at her differently but it only makes me look at how unnatural it looks.

"Ah yes, they have worked exceptionally hard throughout the years they've been here, it's about time I rewarded them. Maybe if you worked that hard you'd get a reward." I hint for her to get back to work, only getting a furrowed brow of confusion in response.

Smiling sweetly, she looks me up and down, "Well you look great today Mr Bing, I'll go now" internally rolling my eyes I force a smile.

"You too" Couldn't have lied more. "Bye Caitlin" with that she leaves, sighing I lift my legs up and angle them away from my computer on my desk, relaxing back into my chair.

I knew me doing that would cause some sort of disrupt, oh well.

I don't half mean it when I say that Ms Geller deserves a break, more so after this year, yet I don't know why this year.

It started in January, before Christmas she was always smiling, laughing and joking with the people around her, pretty much just Rachel Green, but she was unmistakably happy. January 10th came around and I couldn't wait to get back to work after what was evidently one of my hardest Christmas' to get through. Anyways, I greeted everyone seeing they had a pretty good refreshing break, it came round to Mr Geller and Green, Ms Green happily shook my hand offering a polite smile, whereas Ms Geller well she shook my hand and gave a small smile, though kept surprisingly quiet.

It was the same till around April/May time, she hardly spoke anymore only to her bestfriend, everyday she'd come to work, make a coffee, take her seat and become engrossed in her screen. Only ever leaving for the bathroom or any meetings we had that day.

My employees have a week of for Easter in which I will thankful give, after Christmas work gets really really busy, I still come to the office everyday to get through anything unfinished.

Everyone came back to work, once again I do my round of greeting them and hoping they are all well, I approached Ms Geller first holding out my hand, It seemed I must've moved at a quick pace because as I move my hand and walk she winces and steps away. Her body trembling slightly, Rachel rests a hand on her shoulder which she gladly accepts, I was a little more than confused but stayed quiet and moved on to Ms Green. She again shook my hand and smiled this time apologetically, I shook my head and nodded.

Then we get here September, until today I had only ever walked past Ms Geller through the corridor or spoken in meeting other than that, nothing.

I rarely leave the office if I can help it though, it's not always nice to find every woman employee in the block oggling at you everywhere you go.

I guess because I grin and bare it people believe I enjoy the attention and think I'm some sort of hot-shot. I'm don't though. If anything I hate the attention, I've never settled properly with a woman because I never found the one, so with women pushing themselves on me from all directions, if anything I hate it.

Checking the time I realise I've spent almost 2 hours sat here thinking, it's now 5:40 I need to be home by six so I can call my Mom before I go out again.

My mom used to live close to me, she moved when my dad passed away a little bit out of the city so it'd be quieter for her, but she hates not seeing me every day. So she started the routine of calling me every other day at 6pm and whilst I sound like a little child, I'm glad she does, that 15 minute takes me away from reality for a while, it helps me remember what matters in life.

Switching off my computer I stand push my chair under my desk and grab my blazer jacket, tugging it onto my shoulders. In one hand I grab my briefcase and with the other grab my phone. Some people actually put it in their bag, I never do, it'd just be my luck for someone to run past and grab my bag then I've lost everything so.

Opening my office door, I hear shouts down the hall, quickly I lock my office and head towards the noise.

"WHY WERE YOU GOING THROUGH MY PHONE!" I hear before everything comes into view, Ms Geller standing beside Caitlin and Ashleigh's desks, with her arm outstretched pointing to both girls.

"What's going on here?" I ask making my way over, Ms Geller turns to me fury written all over her face, jaw clenched, eyes fiery.

"I forgot my phone earlier, I came back to get it and find them looking through everything!" With every word there's a crack, I hear her anger slow twisting into an emotional wreck, "they've been through all my private messages" she finishes with glassy eyes.

Quickly I turn to Ashleigh and Caitlin, who are half smiling, half in shock. "Why? Why would you do that to her?" I ask sternly, I'm furious with them too, god knows how Ms Geller feels.

"Well, she got a break, we wanted to know why" What!? I don't get these people sometimes, did I not just tell one of them an hour ago?

"I told you why" I snarl, grabbing the phone from their grasp, my demeanour changes as I turn back to Ms Geller, "I'm so sorry, they will be punished for this" I confirm, she stays quiet her eyes still full of hurt.

"We thought there was something going on between you two" Ashleigh admits guiltily.

I swivel back to them, "what difference would it have made to you if there was or wasn't something! My business, Miss Geller business, everybody else's business, is not yours. I told you why I awarded Miss Geller the time off now get back to work, you will be working your shifts along with Miss Gellers and Miss Greens between you both for the next two week." They huff, their faces resembling two little spoilt teens not getting what they want. "Miss Geller,make both your holidays 2 weeks long"

She shakes her head ready to reject my offer, "Do it" I insist, she just nods stepping away from her desk finally looking down at her phone.

Before I go after her I glance back ensuring Caitlin and Ashleigh are back to work, they are.

"Ms Geller" I call following her towards the lift, despite her attempts to hide it I can hear her sniffles and see her quickly whip away her tears.

"Yeah?" She croaks, facing me for the 4th time today, my breath catches in my throat, her eyes are red and puffy, but I don't think I've looked at anyone so beautiful.

No Chandler shut up!

"I will make sure they regret doing that, Im so sorry, if I had seen you know I would've taken the phone away and sorted it. I hope you're okay." The lift door opens, an older woman with a trolley decked out with coffee and refreshments wheels past us. Once she's out of the way we step inside and I push the button for the ground floor.

"I know you would've, I'm okay, I just had a lot of personal information that they read. I've had a tough year, I just can't wait for it to be over with if I'm honest." Her eyes fix on her shoes but at least she's talking, I think to myself.

"Well you deserve this time off, so make use of it, do the things you really enjoy, it will do you good. I have been the same. Just know you can talk to me if you need anything, more so if the work is adding to your stress, I know there's a lot" mentally kicking myself, I stop my rambling, cutting my sentence if bluntly.

Chuckling quietly Ms Geller nods a small smile creeping into her features "Thank you Mr Bing." The lift jolts to a stop, giving me one last smile Ms Geller walks in the opposite direction to my car. Climbing into the drivers seat I shut the door ending yet another day of whatever today was.

Wonder what the next few days will be, it sure as hell won't be as good as today was.


	3. Another Day To Hate

**Thank you for all the reviews, I'm really excited for this story so if you like it could you please support me! Thank you!**

 **Monica's POV**

So it's now Friday. I spent the first and second day of my newly awarded holiday cleaning out my apartment, getting rid of anything neither me or Rachel really need, then thoroughly scrubbing everything from the bedside tables to the toothbrush holder in my bathroom.

Though I'm considered a clean or neat freak by my friends, I can't exactly remember the last time I cleaned, apart from the dishes every day numerous times and the vacuuming every now and then.

I suppose lately I've had more important things to stress about like work and getting my life under control in general.

By Wednesday Rachel was sick of the cleaning and my quiet behaviour so we spent our day shopping, I can't say i didn't put the day into use. I ended up purchasing a couple of dresses and jumpers, but I still kept quiet.

Yesterday I babysat my nephew for Ross because he got called into work last minute. It was fun if I'm honest, it's weird how kids can make you forget about all your worries and they make you realise what matters in life.

That brings me to today, right now it's 2:35pm, I have a doctors appointment at 3pm and then Rachel is dragging me out tonight for a drink. Sometimes it's best to get it over and done with, then it'll be at least another month before she does it again. Grabbing my boots I pull them on over my thick socks, I'm no good with the cold weather and it's only September by the time December comes around I'm like a standing icicle.

Sipping the cold remnants of coffee out of my mug, I rinse it out with hot water and leave it in the sink, making sure my phones in my back pocket and I have my purse and wallet I leave my apartment, locking it behind me. Skipping down the steps two at a time I wrap my coat tighter around my body, prepared for the icy air to bite away at me. With the doctors office being around 15 minutes away, I choose to walk, catching a cab at this time isn't always a fast enough option and I prefer not to take the bus. People seem to come to the assumption that I never even attempted to get a drivers licence, not that it's their concern, but I did pass my test, I've just never been able to afford a car.

I arrive at the doctors office 5 minutes before my appointment, just how I like it.

Dr Pierce calls out my name, tearing me from a fashion magazine I picked up, following him to his room I tug my coat away from my arms. So this is just a routine check-up, I stopped having these at around 25 but with this last year, my friends forced me to go to the doctors and I'm made to come here every other month.

"So Monica how have you been?" He asks, I'm prepared for the questions, they are always the same. I nod "I've been good, I got awarded 2 weeks off work to show appreciation for what I do so I'm taking the time to get myself back on track" gasping when the cold metal of his stethoscope hits the bare right side of my chest, just as my body comes to terms with it, the instrument is moved away. Buttoning my shirt back up I stand getting ready for the next thing.

Weighing.

I pull off my boots, and all my jewellery, the dreaded pair of scales in the corner come into view as I inch my way closer, my heart begins to pound harder and harder against my chest, beads of sweat popping up across my forehead. "Monica, you're okay. No is going to judge you remember it's just me" Dr Pierce says, his hand on my shoulder, I slowly nod his words nothing to me in all honestly.

It's not true, someone is going to judge me and that's me.

Lifting one foot onto the plate, I hesitate, then goes the other foot. Clenching my eyes shut I wait, wait and wait a little bit longer until it feels like I've been there forever and the devil I'm standing on bleeps at me.

Not even taking a glance at the number I turn and preoccupy myself with my footwear and getting ready to leave.

The doctor finishes typing away the results then swivels to face me, "Okay Monica, so it's better than last time. You are just into the Average weight sector, I know it's not easy but I promise you it will get better and you will get better." Nodding blindly I force another smile.

"That's great, Thank you" And with that I leave, I know full well Rachel will be home when I get there, she knows how bad I can be after the doctors so she makes sure she is always there for me.

Just like any other time, my traipse home is a blur of bodies, buildings and passing traffic, my eyes stay averted to the pavement, I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to throw up. Yet I want to smile, I want to cry happy tears, I want to have a happy life again, when will I get that?

"Monica!" Rachel snaps her fingers close to my ear, I jump and turn to her. "What?" I question as if nothing was wrong.

She only frowns knowing full well something is wrong.

"What happened?"

Shifting on my seat by the kitchen table, I clutch my mug a little bit tighter, "Well my weight is just into the sector for average" I mutter, suddenly the peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of me is not appetising, nothing is.

"Honey that's great! See it will get better Mon. It's just going to take time. Your weight and body is perfect, don't be thinking anything different okay?" She knows what I'm thinking before I do, That'swhy she's my bestfriend.

Nodding I smile and lean against her shoulder drained mentally and physically. Her arms hug my shoulders, "Do you want to start getting ready for tonight?" She whispers, more than likely hoping to distract me.

3 hours later I hand over my silver necklace to Rachel, it's got an old turquoise blue diamond in the middle, something my dad handed down as a kid to me, I've always loved it. The diamond is the most beautiful colour, but the chain itself is only thin and it's worn so I need to get that sorted at some point.

"You look gorgeous honey" Rachel reassures me running her fingers through some of the tighter curls of my hair so they loosen to a wave.

"So do you Rach" I grin, both of us standing I pull down my dress slightly, grabbing my thin jacket from my closet along with my little black clutch bag.

Stopping by the mirror I find myself not able to stop staring, a hand comes up and finds my stomach then my hips. I find myself hating the reflection looking back at me, the way is shaped, they way it looks, I just hate it. I hate me.

My dress is a deep pink, Rachel's wearing a similar dress but in black, a colour I believe suits her really well.

Since the doctors everything's ran smoothly, Ross and Phoebe popped over for coffee, I spoke to them briefly before being shooed off into my bedroom for my makeup.

Today seems to have flown by it seems like only an hour ago I was leaving for the doctors now it's 7pm and we are just about ready to leave.

My heels click along the hard stone floor, soon drowned out by loud booming music and chatters of many many people. Somewhere through the drone I hear an announcement for karaoke. Dodging dancers here and there, I find a seat at the bar for me and Rachel, she only has to walk through the door and gets men swarming around her like moths to light.

I don't go out very often, when I have it's mainly been for family events, I know how to handle myself, it's just not me. To be in a loud place with so much going on.

One of the bar attenders strolls over, smiling, ready to pour out whatever I request.

"Could I have a Scotch on the rocks with a twist and A vodka and coke please?" I pretty much yell over the new singer who chose so wrongly to sing Amy Whinehouse.

Handing over 10 dollars I move Rachel's drink to my side and take a sip from mine. The first swig always seems to set my throat alight, after that it's a breeze, washing away all my worries for the night.

Rachel winks over at me,snorting into my drink I chuckle and shake my head.

"You raised me uuuup!" I sing along, Rachel and I have out arms around each other's necks swaying in our seats. I've only had 2 drinks, it's all it takes for me to let myself loosen up a bit, there's no way on earth I'm absolutely not in control of anything, unlike Rachel.

Her eyes at half mast, she managed to pull herself to her feet, banging against my shoulder for a second until she gropes her way along the wall. Everything within me falls quiet and distant once again.

"How's the holiday been?" A voice asks, I know that voice, I'm sure. Spinning around I find Mr Bing leant over the bar in front of me, a towel over his shoulder, a lop-sided smile creeping away at him.

"It's been good" I nod turning back to watch Rachel, she's found a dude suitable to make out with for 5 minutes.

A hand touches mine softly, I tense and flinch away from my boss, "You don't wanna be here do you?" He guesses, his answer more than 1000% correct. Without another word I shake my head, his fingers creep under mine and tug me to face him. "Come with me" He says, I don't know much about this man, apart from that he's Mr Hotshot and as far as work goes, he has been really kind to me and Rach, but he doesn't look as though he's planning to through my in the boot of his car or leave me in a ditch.

Rachel slumps next to me giggling at absolutely nothing, "What about her?" I ask, thinking she was completely oblivious.

"You go Mon, have fun" She slurs, winking again, I rest my hand on her shoulder. "Be careful" I warn, like I would to a child, she nods happily, flapping her arm around to attempt at shooing me away.

Mr Bing is still patiently waiting for me, in fact he's still got my fingers in his hand, I down the last of my drink, moving away from my seat. Concentrating on my feet I get to the other side of the bar, my hand is set free, when I'm eventually in front of my boss, I glance up, he smiles and leads me to a door down a corridor behind the bar. I'm let into a small room with two squishy sofa's and a dying out fire with the curtains drawn.

Mr Bing closes the door behind us, manoeuvring behind a curtain opposite me and retrieving cups, coffee granules, sugar and a kettle, milk is underneath a table beside him in a mini fridge.

"The same as at work? He asks gesturing to my cup, silently I nod, a short smile threatening my lips at how he remember specifically what I drink.

I pull off my jacket and lay it over the top of an armchair to my left, clasping my bag by my side I stride over to the couch. My body sinks down and all my muscles relax, it has to be the comfiest thing I've ever sat on, Mr Bing brings over both cups leaving them on the table, taking a seat opposite me.


	4. All Clicks Into Place

**Chandlers POV**

I've somehow managed to find myself in a quiet peaceful room sat across from Ms.Geller drinking coffee. She's quiet, as usual, but even quieter than that, she hardly looks up at me instead she's been staring at her cup for the last 10 minutes.

Honestly I don't know how to approach her, I want to ask if she's okay but I know already that she will say 'I'm fine' whether it's the truth or not.

"So how have you been?" I start hoping to sound genuine, that's when I catch her attention, her eyes averting for a second to see me.

Her hands wrap tighter around her cup as she nods, "Yeah, this holiday was something I've really needed this year" I'm offered a small smile, which I return.

"You deserve it" I add watching her cheeks flush I light pink.

Again it's silent. Pushing my weight on my hands and standing from the sofa I find a pack of chocolate cookies in the cupboard drawer beside the extra coffee and crisps.

Taking one out I bite down, my stomach groaning in appreciation "Would you like one?" I mumble making sure I don't blow crumbs everywhere. Glancing over at me the woman's eyes flicker up to my face then to the packet I'm holding them down to her hands once again.

I wait patiently, "No I'm okay, I'm not hungry" still I stay with my hand held out, deep down I know she is hungry, by the way her shoulders dropped at my question, the low rumbling of her stomach screaming for her to eat.

I still wait. "I said I don't want anything Mr.Bing!" she confirms firmly never moving an inch.

I sit back across from her, the top of her head the only thing I can see looking back. "Call me Chandler" I smile, my hand reaches out, meeting hers in a weak shake.

"Monica" she responds, I nod, my brain focusing on the fact that her name is just as beautiful as her.

"Okay. I just want to say, you do know if there is anything you ever need to talk about I am here. I'm out of work now." Hopefully my words will offer some sort of comfort to her, gratefully she smiles fortunately her head doesn't bow again which makes me happy.

"Thanks." She whispers.

I can't hold it back any longer "Monica, what's wrong? Ever since last Christmas you've been so out of the ordinary, so quiet, so frightened if anyone comes too close to you. I might be your boss but it doesn't mean it goes without notice." Though Monica's head is still bowed I can see her eyes glisten with tears and I'm soon watching them trickle down her cheeks, dropping one by one into her lap.

Reaching over I quickly take the mug from her grasp setting beside mine on the table. Her now free hands rush to her face covering my view of her, cautiously I take the few steps over between the two couches. Taking the empty seat beside her, she peaks in between her fingers sniffling and my heart aches a little at the picture.

"Tell me" I whisper, my hand finds one of hers, I move slow just in case she yanks it away. She doesn't. Instead allows me to take it in both of mine and hold it tight and reassuringly.

Monica's body jolts gently as she hiccups, stifling her now controlled sobs with her sleeve, her mascara has ran down to her cheeks leaving behind darker eyes than before. Nevertheless she's gorgeous.

"I'm sorry. I'm not normally like this. I told rachel I didn't want to drink." She mumbles, though she glances around I'm guessing in the search of another. I reach behind the couch and find a bottle of whisky and two glasses, pouring out a bit for each of us I hand her a glass.

Swirling it around she waits for a few seconds, I do too, the last thing I want to do is force her to talk.

Sucking in a deep breath, Monica's voice cracks into life. "It-it umm- well it started last Christmas, just before we'd finished work for the year. You remember that guy Mike? The one who Ashley couldn't stop gossiping about?" My brain clicks into gear, it's cogs creaking under the straint of remembering.

Another shaky breath is taken before she continues. "Well we went out on a few dates and my the time Christmas came around we were dating, not exclusively because of my brother. We just wanted to wait for a bit longer." At appropriate intervals I nod, showing her I'm paying attention and I understand what she said.

I'm listening, I am. But something about her makes everything around me disappear. There's only her.

"Anyways I was really really happy, until just after Christmas when he... when he..." tears escape past her hands again, I grasp her hand tighter.

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere you're okay" I whisper, tracing growing circles on the soft skin of her thumb.

A somewhat grateful smile tugs at her features for mere seconds, desperation and fear creeping in the way, forcing her back into an emotional cowering girl.

Then it comes out. Words I never actually thought I'd have to hear. "When he beat me."

You hear about it in the news, you hear about the endless police reports, but it's not very often you find it, witness the aftereffects of it and realise how well-hidden and how oblivious you can be to it.

Her words echo around my mind, the only thing louder are her sobs beside me, my arm automatically goes around her shoulders hugging her tightly, she might be my employee but this woman has been through a hell of a year already and I've only heard the start.

I'm still lost but I force something out hoping it'll make sense, "W-w-why?" Really!! That's all I could come out with... why?!

Slowly Monica pulls back, I go to move my arm from around her thinking she might be uncomfortable but all she does is turn slightly and lean her head against my shoulder, sniffling quietly. "I-I don't know, at first there was some kind of excuse, it soon turned to because he was bored." There's a small pause. "Do you remember when Rachel rang in sick for me and said the doctor advised me to have the week off?"

I nod, not sure whether I should already be able to guess where she's going with this or not, honestly there's too much running around my brain to focus on anything. Though I vaguely remember what she is talking about, it was some time in June, we had a whole office day off on a Monday and then on Tuesday Miss Green called us telling me Monica had a viral infection and she wasn't allowed to work for at least a week until she was better.

"Well the day before Rachel called was the worst it ever got. He came home from work, I'd eaten done the dishes and was just watching TV, he showered and yelled because I didn't have his dinner out in time. I washed his plate and the next thing I know my hair feels as though its been ripped from my scalp. He dragged me to the bedroom and continuously hit and kick me everywhere. It felt like it went on for hours, he didn't stop until I was out cold, and apparently he still hadn't stopped then" Tears furiously pour down her cheeks again, my arms hold her tighter. My insides are twisting and my stomach is churning, how could a guy ever do this in the first place. How could anyone do it? The thought on t's own is sickening.

"My friends took me to the hospital, they could Richard in the middle of it all, so they explained everything. I came home with 6 broken ribs, my entire body bruised and cut, luckily I hadn't broken any other bones. Anyways the police took him away, he's been locked up ever since."

By the time she's finished, I'll definitely say I'm mortified, the reality of it all too much to believe. Everything clicking into place at once, the not trusting me, the scared of being alone with another guy, the quiet behaviour with anyone and the defensive behaviour.

"Monica, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say, but I will help you through this and I will be here for you." Her head turns and buries into my chest, her arm wrapping around my waist, I think all she needs right now is reassurance and someone she can trust.

I just hold her, there's nothing more I can do.

My heads reeling, the thought of any man hitting a woman like that is truly disgusting, the same as it would be for a guy to be beaten by a woman. Yet I still can't understand why something like this would happen to Monica.

Over the years, even from being in school, you learn about these horrors, you hear stories through Social Media, you learn over time the punishments. You learn that it's wrong. So why is it this man wanted to do this? Take away everything from her life, not only cause her physical pain, but mental pain to the point of trusting nobody but her best friend and herself.

Everything that she told me fits into this last years behaviour. But doesn't at the same time, something's just not right somewhere. Either that or it's just my sane mind unable to fathom where there's a reasoning for it.

It fits.


	5. You’re Beautiful, Perfect

Monica's POV

I've just let it all out.

The most vulnerable part of me, the part I despise, the part keeping me from ever having a happy future. Now I'm uncontrollably sobbing into my bosses arms, under the influence of alcohol. Okay, I won't exaggerate, I'm on the tipsy side but I know for a fact none of this would've come out if I was completely sober.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking this, especially when tears furiously pour down my cheeks, but Chandler hugging me like this isn't weird or uncomfortable. It feels...safe, I guess.

"M-Monica." He says. Something similar to guilt drips into my veins because I've thrown all this information at him in the last 10 minutes and he's having to attempt processing it, it took me a year to get my own head wrapped around it.

My boss has been so kind to me, although he knew nothing about me personally or my past, he apologised for it and told me he'd always be there for me.

"Hmm" I croak, rushing to wipe my achy eyes, the collar and arm of Chandler's shirt soaked with my tears. His arm loosens slightly around my shoulders, leaning back ever so slightly to look at him I watch confusion anger and curiosity flicker across his features.

Opening his mouth he waits a second before speaking again, "I don't understand why this affects you eating... I know you've been through so much and don't think that I'm being unsensitive or anything. It's just I'm still a little confused" sighing he looks away from me. Yeah I suppose I didn't explain that part to him.

Curling my legs up under my body, Chandler's arm falls even looser around me, feeling bereft without the safety or warmth I push myself closer to his side, his grip tightening again.

"Yeah... I didn't explain that part. Um, well... Richard beat me... But sometimes after he'd finished hitting me or, the days where he didn't want to beat me. He used to, I suppose verbally beat me.

So he would tell me I was way too fat for him, I was ugly, he only wanted me for sex, I was worthless and I should hate every little thing about me."

Taking long deep breaths I successfully hold back the tears threatening me. "At the start it used to get to me and obviously i was upset for a few days, I just thought he was being horrible. Then after it's been happening so much, I believed what he was saying was true, I starved myself to lose weight, I never slept with him after the first beatings anyways but he would always try to. I refused. But It got so bad that I often passed out from malnutrition. I was basically killing myself slowly because of him."

Before I register what's happening I'm impossibly closer to Chandler, his arms gripping me around my waist tightly. "You're perfect. Listen to me, I don't care what he said, I don't care what you ended up doing. You're beautiful, I don't know why this ever happened to you, I swear to you that nothing like that will happen to you again." The man's known about this for barely an hour, his words are promises, there's no doubting it.

Pulling my head out of his shoulder I look at him, our eyes meeting. Next minute his lips crash against mine, I want to move, I know its wrong, but I'm too carried away. I kiss back, our lips intermingling over and over, I feel faint strokes of his hands down either sides of my hips up and down. My own arms wrap around his neck keeping him close, my lungs are burning, my body on fire from his soft touch, I don't pull away.

Eventually Chandler does after what seemsw elike hours, gasping for breath, "Wow" he pants, I grin giggling quietly. my chest heaves as I try to get my breath, I already miss his lips. Is that bad?

If I wasn't drunk I'd have been certain it was REALLY bad, but nothings holding me back. I'm thinking straight but I'm not at the same time if that makes sense.

Reaching out my fingers gently caress his cheek, I swear I feel him shudder, under my own panting I can't quite tell.

"You okay?" He whispers, his eyes flickering to my lips and back up to my eyes.

For the first time in a while I am okay, lifting my eyes to Chandlers eyes my heart jumps. His hairs slightly dishevelled from my fingertips, my nails travel along his jawline, hesitating when I reach the edge of his lip, I use my thumb to trace across where my lips were moments ago.

The warm breath that hits my thumb causing my heart to pound against my chest.

My eyes lose track of my thumb when a hand lifts my chin ever so slightly, our eyes meet again. Meeting him halfway, my lips find mine, this time it's not rushed, or desperate, it's slow and gentle and enough to melt my insides, setting them alight.

Chandlers legs shift from underneath us, touching the floor, manoeuvring mine from underneath my body, I let my feet find the carpet, his arms wrap around my waist and together we stand, out lips never parting. Sliding my hands up over his shoulders, they cross behind his neck, letting my fingertips play with the short strands I find there.

Our lips part enough to take a quick breath before they meet again, squeezing my hips, Chandler slowly steps forward, then sidewards. Shivering from the sudden temperature drop I pull my lips away, staring for a couple of seconds Chandlers grin lights up the hall we've ended up in.

We've stopped outside a large heavy oak door, with a brass handle, Chandler twists the key and leans sideways shoving the door open.

Taking my hand he gently tugs me into the room, flicking the light on as he goes. There's a king sized mahogany bed, with matching bedside cabinets either side, a grey fluffy rug two steps away from my toes. It's like a normal bedroom of any house or apartment, even including a dresser and bureau with a full length mirror standing to the left of it.

A quiet click and the door is closed, awkwardly I hug myself, both arms crossing around my stomach, rubbing my arm up and down, Chandler reaches out and plays with my hand, his fingers sliding inbetween mine. Picking his head up, I watch his eyes glistening, the ray of light from the lamp illuminating his features perfectly, taking two steady steps forward I fall into his embrace, my toes curling as the soft fur of the rug tickles my feet.

Instead of moving to the bed or kissing me, Chandler's arms find my waist, slithering round making his hands meet at the small of my back, as an alternative ; snaking my arms around his neck I sigh. Nothing has felt more comforting and as safe as this is the past decade for me, I'm not willing to leave it yet.

Subconsciously, I let my head fall against his shoulder, burying my face into the crook of my neck, the strong scent of aftershave overpowering. Blinking slowly I feel my entire body relaxing, the gentle thud of his heart beating against his chest a huge factor of my loss of stress and upset. I know women have needs, hell I have needs. But a lot of the time this is all I wish for, someone to hold me and tell me its going to be okay.

Instead of someone beating me and emphasising my flaws and imperfections.


	6. Mistake

Chandlers POV

A dream. There is no other way to put it. Holding her in my arms promising it will always be okay. Whispering reassuring words into her ear, listening to the way her heart thumped faster and faster the closer I got.

The way her soft lips caressed mine, in probably the best kiss I've ever had, and ever will have.

The way she tilted her neck for me to gain more access, the soft noises she made when I trailed kisses across her collar bone wherever I could reach.

The feeling of her nails tangling in my hair as she kissed me. Willingly removing our shirts as they became an unbearable restriction for us. I unhooked her bra, kissing and sucking any part of her skin I could reach. God, the moans of approval from her, causing my body to set alight and my groin to grow tighter.

How perfect her body was. My god. I think I may have told her more than 900 times how unreal she was. The way her body writhed beneath me, begging for more, needing me. Her nails dragging down my back, cutting into my skin as she struggled to keep under control.

The amount of trust she put into me...by far the best I've ever had.

And it was with Monica.

Clenching my eyes tighter together not ready to leave my dream just yet, I turn over only getting so far before I'm tugged back. My left arm is trapped. Twisting my body around I gasp, a woman with curled, raven black hair fanned out across the pillow, and nothing more but a quilt covering her body, is right beside me.

That was a dream. Wasn't it?

My head pounds, the light, along with the straint of my body and confusion mixing together creating a pretty well deserved hangover. My knees ache and my arms feel heavy, other than the headache I'm okay.

Racking my brains I attempt to remember last night. Everything inside is telling me it was real, what I 'dreamt' was real, I can't see myself doing it though.

Turning my head to look back at Monica, my insides melt, she is beautiful. Utterly perfect.

What have we done? She will hate me. I can tell I had a lot to drink, I'm sure I remember seeing her in the club last night drinking scotch, my memories aren't clear, the pictures blurred, keeping me from the truth.

What is wrong with me!? The woman told me not even 24 hours ago that she got beaten, often ending with her covered in cuts and bruises to the point of where she couldn't walk. The constant emotional beatings. How all that worked together to turn her into a frightened, girl who hated everything about herself.

To make it better I sleep with her!!

It's not a lie that it was the bests sex I've ever had, though that's just judging on how I feel, I don't think I've ever felt this good after sex. It would make it so much better if I remembered everything, the most I can grasp at is the little thing going through my head before I woke up.

I know I wouldn't sleep with her because I just felt sorry for her, it's obvious I think she's perfect and that I wouldn't do that. I mean, Monica seems classy, it's not something she would do either.

I'm forced back out of my thoughts into the room where slowly a flood of light streams over the blanket illuminating the floor, I see a pile of clothing, unable to make out who's is who's.

Monica shivers at my side, I want to bring her closer to me, keep her warm in my arms, somethings warning me to keep the distance. Grasping the blanket in her tired fists she yanks it up getting no luck as it's half hanging off the bed. Disgruntled she groans, tossing to her left then the right, it wasn't just me who didn't want to wake up.

My eyes train on her face, my body withholding a breath.

Slowly but surely her eyes flutter open, the blue pools capturing mine, for the split second we meet, my heart aches.

Then it's gone.

Monica yelps instantly tugging the blanket around her body, confused for a minute blinking down at me then back up, her breathing rapidly coming faster and faster.

"Oh my god" for a few moments she's quiet trying to understand it all,

"...we didn't" she eventually gasps, unfortunately I'm facing a more than hopeful face, I knew what to expect but it still doesn't feel great.

Laughing nervously for a few awkward seconds I avoid eye contact "I...think...we did" My voice comes out in a whisper, scratching the back of my head I face down, her face drains blank, searching the room her eyes widen slightly.

"No no no no no." Monica repeats, pleading for it to be all a nightmare. I remain rooted to the bed, unable to bring my brain into gear. "God what have we done" she cries leaping from my side, hurrying around and grabbing her clothes.

For a minute I think there's a chance she will get dressed in my presence, before it's destroyed with a slam from the bathroom door.

Shoving back part of he blanket that I kept over me I rotate my body, begging for it to hurry up and get into gear, eventually I'm there ready to stand.

On shaky knees I stagger the couple of steps it takes to what clothes are left, I yank my jeans over my legs, followed by my top. Quickly glancing in the mirror I flatten my hair best I can, with no look whatsoever.

I'm sure I can hear something coming from the other room other than the shuffling around and taps running now and then.

With a flush of the toilet the door opens again, now a fully dressed, tidied up Monica walks out. There's no expression, no nothing. I've no idea what she's thinking.

"Monica..." I try, my fingers barely skimming the side of her arm, she jumps a mile into the air away from me, hurriedly grabbing at any belongings scattered elsewhere.

Glancing back at me one last time I think I see the attempt of a smile, but her eyes. All I see in them is desperation, glassy from tears, and I hate to say, Im sure it's resentment.

Her hand pushes back a piece of hair blocking her sight, "I-i have to go" and with the last muttered words, I'm alone.

Slowly I get my bearings, replaying her leave through my head for a minute. Coming back to my senses, I'm alone again.


	7. What’s gotten into me?

**Right its a simple short chapter, at the time i didnt have time to right much more. And again i am NOT copying someone else's story, I will post all the chapters I've written so far then you'll get the idea that this is going to be very different. I wish I could've written more so that you'd be able to see but I have exams and I'm not going to fail and write tons just so I can prove to some inconsiderate people that I'm not the type of person to copy someone else's story!**

 **Monica's POV**

I don't know. I just don't know.

Why did I do it? Why did I sleep with a man who showed me a bit of sympathy? Why did I even drink?

Groaning I bury my head into my pillow for the tenth time today, trying to fathom whereabouts my brain was 5 nights ago. Yes five nights, and I still can't work it out.

Was it good? Yes. Was it the best? Ummm. If I could remember more...maybe...I guess.

I know it was good that's for sure, even his kisses could've sent me over the edge but my god what is wrong with me.

I don't think I've ever slept with anyone on the first night of meeting them, or in this case bumping into them out of the workplace for the first time. Not since high school.

Even back then I wasn't dumb enough to get drunk and go with just anyone.

But MY BOSS! What was I thinking? That it would make everything better all of a sudden? That I would forget my past?

Well it didn't work because I certainly remember every single detail of my past. Unfortunately not every single detail of that night, if I could get that then I could probably work out how I felt.

The brandy certainly seemed to send those memories off in a hurry.

"Oh goood" groaning again I throw my body forward so I can swing onto my feet from the bed. "Why am I so stupid? I mean Mr Bing!" I know I'm talking to myself, I know I sound crazy, I couldn't care less right now.

I haven't left my apartment much since that night, I came home with a pounding headache, I ended up instantly showering thinking I could wash away the mistake.

I've tried to tell rachel but I don't know where to start with it, already knowing her reply will be "Monica you said you couldn't see anything in him."

It's still true, just my alcohol addled mind didn't quite agree.

Watching the clock beside my bed I wait for it to tick to the next hour 10 am, Rachel will be up any minute now, today is the day I tell her.

Tugging a pair of soft cotton grey shorts and my thick woolly jumper, I scrape my hair up into a bun. I'm enjoying the fact that its now down to the lower end of my back but I have to say on a day like this it looks no more flattering.

My stomach twists violently and I bolt. Pummelling through the bathroom I send Rachel flying against the wall, reaching the toilet just in time.

"Monica!" I think I hear her yell as she crashes beside the mirror. Gripping the edge of the sink with one hand and resting my other hand on my knees I beg for the onslaught to be over.

Finally my stomach grants me mercy, settling once again, until now I didn't realise Rachel had been holding back pieces of my hair that were in my way and rubbing my back consolingly.

Frowning at me as I wipe my mouth and stand on shaky legs, her hand moves to rest on my shoulder, "You okay Mon?" Highly concerned to say I've only thrown up.

My knuckles turn white with my grip on the sink, shakily I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste nodding. "I'm okay, it's probably just a bug. I haven't felt great for the last couple of days."

Rachel nods understandingly finishing brushing her hair then leaving me on my own to give me privacy.

My mouth now fresh and minty tasting calms me slightly, I suck in long deep breaths of air, whatever it is needs it clear off and soon!

Finding Rachel with a cup of coffee in front of the TV I wait for a second, ohh god no, my stomach churns and I immediately dodge the smell, no coffee today.

Cautiously I approach the empty space next to Rachel, willing my body to get under control, it's my Bestfriend, she won't judge me.

"Uhh, Rach I need to talk to you about something" I begin, my hands unconsciously clenched into fists on my lap, sending my knuckles white.

"Sup Mon" she mumbles her eyes still on the tv screen.

"Well, uhh, well" slowly her eyes avert and she turns to me curiously. I'm just going to have to say it. "I-i-i" nope I can't do it. Now isn't the time.

Think Monica. Find an excuse, god anything. Just say something. It can be anything. Something. Dumb or whatever just something.

Nothing

"Mon? Maybe you should go to bed for a while, you're really pale and shaky. We'll miss the shopping day and cinema tomorrow. Just rest I have to go to work in minute" Well okay then. I'm saved.

Breathing out in complete relief my brain clicks into place. "Yeah Thanks Rach. I'm a bit all over the place I think." That's it. Go along with it. "You do know we have 2 weeks off though. Why are you going into work?" Rolling her eyes Rachel grabs her cup and takes it over to the sink, rinsing it out with warm water.

"Whoever those girls are in front of us are, they don't understand the work they have to do for us. Apparently it's too complex. Mr Bing asked me to just go in today and show them the ropes" the sound of even Mr Bing gets my heart to pound against my chest. I think my stomach has dropped to my feet. All to suddenly I get a whiff of coffee, toast who knows.

As if in slow motion, my body jolts, my stomach twisting. Here we go again. Bounding towards the bathroom I fall to my knees just in time.

Rachel's footsteps follow closely behind, holding back my hair with one hand she reaches over and grabs the bin from beside the sink. Eventually my body lets up leaving me slumped up against the door frame.

Almost in routine, I reach up for my toothbrush and wash away the revolting taste I'm left with. Once I've finished Rachel takes my hand in hers her other hand carrying the bin, leading me into my room, she leaves the bin in front of my bedside table and pulls back my quilt.

Stopping for a minute, she just stands and stares at me, giving me a look of sympathy, "Will you be okay on your own?"

Rolling my eyes internally I sigh, "ill be fine, it's only a bug. Go." Frowning for the last time she nods and leaves my room. I wait till I hear

"SEE YOU AT 6 MON"

Then I relax. Sinking into my mattress I rest my hands over my stomach. I reckon I'm going to have to spend my time avoiding my boss from now on. What a mistake to make!

At least Rachel doesn't know, I think it's best to keep it that way.


	8. The Woman That Stuck By Me

I don't know. I just don't know.

Why can't I get her out of my head? Chandler you are so stupid, you've spoken to her one night, she was drunk, maybe she spilled everything out to you. It doesn't mean she meant to.

The more I try to stop thinking about that morning, the more it hurts me. Surely I wasn't that bad. Was it maybe something I said? All I know is that my brain is fixed on her.

That morning was almost 2 weeks ago and the image of her slight curled hair falling over her shoulders, the smile that melts my heart set upon her lips and her ocean blue eyes staring back at me, still branded in my head like it was 2 hours ago. Monica Geller.

Today is the day her and Miss Green come back to work, a tiny voice in the back of my head yells at me to give it up. She will avoid me anyways so what's the point in attempting anything.

For a start my office is a tip, mirroring how it looks in my head, I'm not wearing my suit like normal and my hair isn't gelled into its normal position. You could say that I'm hooked on a woman.

Through the pane of glass opposite me I watch all my workers ready to work, lastly I watch Miss Green enter the room, followed by no one else. Though I never expected her to talk to me, I feel my heart sink, some part of me hoped I'd at least be able to speak to her.

It's like that when you see those posts on Facebook that tell you to stare at a red dot for 60 seconds and then look around the room and you see an image, only I see Monica's distraught form jerking away from me. Replaying the agonising punch in my stomach knowing it's because she woke up next to me.

Wringing my hands together I take a last deep breath through my nose, as if I'm underwater I hear the distant slam of my office door closing behind me.

"Hi...Morning...Good work...Um Hey" I finish awkwardly leaning against Miss Greens desk. Her eyes avert from her computer screen every few seconds, never fully ceasing her typing, a trick she learnt of Monica so as to not waste time on work.

"Morning sir" she smiles, taking a quick break she stops and questions me with a look.

Clearing my throat I force my self to act natural, "Just felt like a round of 'Good Mornings'." I shrug it off as she starts to type away again. "Do you know where Miss Geller is?" I ask eyeing up the strangely empty desk beside Miss Green.

"Oh um some time last week, Saturday I think" all time slows down, that's the day after I saw Monica. Rachel continues, "She woke up and was throwing up all day and she's had it pretty much every day up to now. I assume it's a bad viral infection, the sickness bug." She clarifies,

obviously guessing my blank expression is confusion over what Monica must have.

I am curious as to why she's still sick because sickness bugs should only last up to three days, four at a push, a week and a couple of days later she's still sick. There's something not quite right.

Again I shift awkwardly searching for anything to look at, "Oh okay, could you please ask her to call me to discuss something please?"

"Sure"

"Thanks" I mumble and with the fact she still hasn't looked up I take the hint and leave hastily giving out my last mornings.

Back staring at the same four walls I groan, I'm so bored.

Gazing at the picture frame facing me I smile appreciatively. My mother, her chestnut styled hair pinned gracefully up into a bun, an unmistakably gleeful smile stretching her cheeks. The gentle glint in her eye, those eyes only ever saw the good in people, overlooking their mistakes and flaws. It continues to yank at my heartstrings even to this day, 12 years ago the most amazing supportive woman in my life had to leave me.

She fought for years and Cancer finally defeated her, she never wanted to give up. It was the hardest thing to watch the one person who looked after you when you were sick or having a rough time, to be in so much agony and there's nothing you can do to take it away.

I will never forget how she helped me find who I am, I'll never forget how strong and fierce she was even if she wanted to break down in a puddle of tears.

The grief was immense, as they say it gets better over years, well yeah it does because you know that nothing you do will ever bring them back. But there will always be the image of her in pain fighting for her life, for me. I'll remember every happy memory with her forever because in my heart she won't ever leave.

I suppose as I'm the boss of this department and I generally put the effort into how I present myself, it seems like I've had an easy life and gotten to where I am with a flick of a switch.

I can confirm it wasn't that easy.

My dad left me and my mom when I was maybe five or six years old with no genuine reason. It might be a stereotype for younger boys that they are closer to their dads and they go out to play football and spend at least some time together, not for me. I was in fact much closer to my mom, when my dad left not only did it hurt me but it hurt my her.

She never cried in front of me and she always tried to cover up the fact she hadn't slept properly in weeks, though I heard her crying herself to sleep and watched her cover darkening circles with concealer.

In school I was getting pretty high grades and so when it came to exams I was expected to get the highest marks. Not only did that put a lot of pressure on me along with everything else, I was struggling with anxiety.

My self confidence was pretty low and I hated being the centre of attention.

My mom stuck by me and supported me through my last years of high school and ensured that I passed my tests to my full ability. My grades weren't that bad.

I had no clear vision of where I wanted to be at by this point but I knew it had to be something related to maths. I excelled in that subject naturally.

I searched and searched for a job that seemed decent enough and a placement I would enjoy, nothing ever showed up.

My mom saw an advertisement saying that new workers were needed for this place. She came in without me knowing and explained my situation showing them my grades and CV alongside it. Basically I started off out there where Miss Green and Miss Geller is now.

I managed to plough through all my workload along with a lot of my colleagues. The man previously in my position now, Mr Harrison, maybe in his late 50's, early 60's decided he wanted to go into retirement a couple years earlier than he originally planned.

I happened to still be battling anxiety with myself, the boss told me he wanted to speak to me. Panicking I felt myself getting dizzy and faint as I followed him, I'm think I'm going to mr fired from the job I'd not even been a employed 2 months for. Out of everyone in my contacts they called my mom.

I can't lie it's slightly embarrassing when you wake up to your mum holding either side of your face calling out your name, along with 500 other faves peering down at you..

Long story short I was given the position of the boss, to ensure all the other workers were okay with this I had to undergo 3 months of training and days of what I'd have to do as a boss.

I passed with flying colours, everyone agreeing I was going to be good enough. Gaining the boss job meant I had to look the part and put in the effort, compliments started to me aimed at me and it was so unnatural but soothing to me.

I would never have even gotten a pass in English if it wasn't for my mom never mind get this job, believe in myself and excel to the boss.

No words will ever be able to explain how thankful I am. I wish I could just tell her that one more time.

I miss her so much.

 **A/N: I know this chapter is short and soooo bad but I have been struggling to be able to write like at all, when I'm further along in the story I might edit this chapter and rewrite it making it better. Thank you all so much for your reviews it really means a lot and gives me more confidence to continue writing for you guys! Please leave a review for me. I love you guys!**


	9. Finally Talking

Monica's POV

Ugh. I hate the fact that I can't even make it into work because all my body wishes to do is reject anything I eat. I want to indulge on chocolate, chips, popcorn, along with any other junk food you can think up and so far the only thing I can keep down in sips of water and pickles, which for a start is extremely odd because only a month ago I despised everything about them.

I have this feeling deep down that's telling me this is a lot more than just a sickness bug. The reason to believe my gut feeling is increasing by the minute, surely a sickness bug doesn't naturally last over a week.

Reaching my arm out from the warmth of my blanket I grab the remote and turn the tv down slightly. Slowly I lean my body to the right, pulling the blanket over my body. My head hits the pillow and I frown at how sudden my eyes begin to ache, the only relief I gain is when they close.

"Woah...wha..huh" I snap awake and find Rachel millimetres from my face. Blinking I lay my head back and rub my eyes.

"Sorry I woke you, the blanket was falling off you and so I tried to put it back over you" she says apologetically, I smile up at her.

"Thanks Rach. You okay? How was work?" I watch my friend tug the sleeves of her jacket down her arms and hang it up on the rack.

"Eh... it was okay, average really" Nodding I turn away catching my reflection in the tv, I cringe, looking like I've been dragged through a bush backwards.

If he's not mentioned anything maybe Mr Bing wants to keep that night quiet too. Oh god I hope so.

"Oh yeah" Rachel exclaims jumping forward in get seat for a second, "before I forget, Mr Bing was wondering you where you were and he said he'd give you a call so you can work out sick days or something" she sends a one shoulder shrug my way as she strolls to the direction of the kitchen.

Wishful thinking.

I internally groan, the thought of having to speak to him nerve wracking. I know I can't avoid it but it just seems to be such a much simpler option than bringing that night up again.

"Kay" I nod after a few moments.

Rachel comes behind the couch leaning over the back of it concerned. "Mon you okay? Hungry?"

Shaking my head I squint waiting for the nausea to pass over, "No I'm fine, I'll call Mr Boss man whilst I have nothing important to do" Rachel helps me up, another wave of dizziness hits as I reach my feet, I just continue to ignore it and stumble across to my bedroom. Hearing the door close behind me I sigh.

It's not going to be easy as I imagined it would be.

Clambering under the protection of my bed sheets I sit up against my bed frame anxiously rubbing my hands together.

Switching on my phone I'm greeted by the lock screen photo; me and my friends at the beach last summer. The sunset in the background casting an orangey red across our faces making us seem a lot more tanned than we really were. Each and every smile reflecting happiness and joy. Grinning I swipe the pad of my thumb over the image, my eyes brimming with tears.

Nothing's changed I still have my brother, Phoebe, Rachel, Joey, though he's always got an acting job in every other state but this one.

Tapping in my passcode I search and find my contacts. Automatically scrolling to 'B' I locate the name "Boss" in my contacts and stare into the brightness of the screen, letting me fly away from reality for a split second.

Tapping the 11 digit number I wait. And wait. And wait, the anxiety spreading through my body more and more every-time I hear the boring drone of each ring.

It clicks off, I hear quiet shuffling and my throat closes.

"Hello...Hello?" His voice, something about it more comforting than I thought I would be.

Clearing my throat I shake away my fear,

"Hi" I whisper.

He exhales into the speaker i swear I can see his shoulders sagging in relief as if he's here, right in front of me.

"Umm... are you okay" sighing a look down at my knees, I ran out on him, avoided him, and he still checks on me first.

After what seems like eternity I find my voice, "I'm okay." I called him. And I'm at a loss for words.

"Miss Green told me you are ill." Clearing his throat I hear him swallow heavily, "What's wrong?"

I'm suddenly smirking, even I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because he might've asked about me. I don't know.

"Yeah I'm fine. I've just been throwing up a lot and I can't really eat much. Sorry I should've been at work today but I don't want to get anyone else sick. I'll be in as soon as I can" inching my way down the bed I pull my quilt further up my body. My shoulders now against my pillow.

"Don't apologise for being sick, take your time to make sure your healthy. That's what matters. I called as a 'boss'." By The way he says boss I can imagine air quotes where supposed to be there. "To see if you might want to come back for next week. But you could still be sick so as a friend I'm just checking you're okay... also I think we may need to talk..."

His voice fades at his last few words, the grin set into my cheeks following suit.

"Uhh.. yeah maybe we do. I just want you to know I am not the type of person to just sleep with someone like that" my words come out in a rushed muddle and I'm surprised he got what I said.

"Monica I know I know. Neither am I. It wasn't out of sympathy or just because of what you told me I can promise you that." Woah woah... wait...hold on. WHAT!

My chest feels suddenly like it's constricting and drops of water have already broken the barrier I failed to keep strong. My eyes widen as I sob into my free hand.

Chandlers voice rings through the speaker and I lose all control, "Monica? Are you crying? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything" I sob clutching my quilt. "I'm so stupid... did I tell you everything... ab-about last year?" Between hiccoughs from my sobbing I finish the sentence I never wanted to start.

"Yeah. You kinda did."

Throwing my phone I hear it hit the wall with a huge thud and land in pieces on the ground 4 foot below it.

Twisting under the sheets I clutch desperately onto my pillow, a continuous flow of tears staining the freshly washed bedding.

What has my life turned into?


	10. Feeling Useless

Monica? Monica!" Nothing. Yelping a hold the phone away from my ear when I hear an earth shattering smash ringing through the speaker. Dead.

What the hell happened. All I said was that I didn't sleep with her out of sympathy of what she told me, she kind of sounded confused about what I was talking about. In fact when she asked whether I knew everything, it pretty much sounded like she broke down.

Honestly I don't think there's much more I could do. Going over to see her would most likely make things so much worse and it would be invading the place she feels most safe... I couldn't do that, she's scared enough as it is.

Leaning forwards, I rest my face in my hands, I feel utterly useless.

 **—— I know this chapter is short, all I wanted to really do was show chandlers side of the phone call as it ended... I promise you will find out what is wrong with Monica in the next couple of chapters! Thank you so much for sticking with me, it couldn't mean more to me!——-**


	11. A Realisation

Breathing deeply through my nose, I grip the side of the sink and haul myself to my feet, I reach back and flush the toilet relieved that my stomach has finally settled from it's routine morning torture. I give it a couple more seconds to make sure it's really over before I load up my toothbrush and scrub away at my teeth hoping the toothpaste won't be the next thing that sets me off today.

Leaving the bathroom, I'm greeted by Rachel with a cup of coffee ready for me, just I as I reach out to take it my stomach convulses and I turn away abruptly.

"I'm sorry Rach... the smell." I croak apologetically. That's another day without caffeine, ever since the first day of this sickness I haven't managed to have anything close to coffee, it's been 4 weeks since I first threw up and maybe 2 and a half week since I spoke to Mr Bing. Why that is so significant to my mind I don't know for sure.

She frowns but nods anyways, "Monica I don't think this is a sickness bug, it's been nearly 4 weeks now, you throw up all through the day. You are repulsed by the things you normally can't live without." I shrug, perplexed by what else it could be. "Are you pregnant?"

Oh my god, I didn't even think of that. In my mind there is no possibility of it. There's a complete look of innocence behind the question, backing up the fact that she has no clue I slept with Mr Bing.

"N-no how could you- why would you even think that?" I stutter feeling my body begin to shake, why, I don't know. Rachel smiles softly setting down the mugs on the coffee table, she moves back to me and takes my hands in hers. I feel my body start to relax as much as it will for today anyways.

"I'm sorry honey. I just don't know what else it could be, I know unless there's something you're keeping from me, the last person you were with was Him. So if you were and it was His I would be able to tell by now" she glances down at my flat stomach and sighs, her arms wrap around me and hug me tight.

"I'll ask the doctor today, I promise. I'm not pregnant, I can't be" surely I can't be pregnant, I mean we used protection. Didn't we?! Oh my god... I can't remember!

Just the thought of not remembering what was used that night makes my heart beat out of my chest, everything tenses and I step back from Rachel.

She must notice how tense my body has become, because she rests both her hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, "You will do great today. You will be perfectly fine. Just remember we're all here for you" She thinks it has something to do with the doctors. I won't deny, part of my mood today is to do with today's agenda, however my little realisation has made me feel so out of control I can't bare it.

"I know, I'm going to get ready." Glancing down at my watch, i breathe shakily, "I have to be there in an hour" with that I turn and hurry into my room.

Tears burn my eyes and my hands shake violently as I brush my hair and try to fathom something out of it. I quickly cover up as much of the dark circles under my eyes I have been sporting recently that I can along with the freckles dotting my cheeks. Pulling on my boots I hurry out the apartment door and hail a cab.

The ride there goes by in seconds, merely a blur of colour. Handing the driver the fare and climbing out of the cab seemed like an awakening, everything seemed to come back to me, almost as if I just came back to my own body.

The excruciating wait to be called, dragged out into eternity, my entire body trembling with fear and anxiety and pain.

"Monica Geller!" Dr Pierce tears me out of my reverie, I smile politely and follow him in silence, this place could bring me no comfort now matter how kind and caring my doctors were.

"So how are you?" He asks kindly as I sit and he closes the office door.

Clearing my throat I try to find my voice, "Umm, I'm okay. But for the last 3 and a half nearly 4 weeks I have been throwing up everyday and I can't seem to eat anything that I used to find appetising. It's so weird and so I know I'll have fallen behind again." As much as I'd rather just ignore it, I think now is the best time to bring it up so he knows. As much as I hate this whole situation and the idea that I have to actually put weight on, I hear the pain and miserable tone in my own voice echoing the disappointment I feel, the thought of having to fight against my own wishes for longer than needed terrorises me.

The stethoscope touches my skin and I jump a little in shock, Dr Pierce nods understandingly, "That's okay Monica, you can't help being sick. You know you can get back to where you were before." He moves the instrument around in places he never really has done before, listening internal it seems, as if there is something out of the ordinary waltzing around my insides.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, dread trickling through this my bloodstream for no apparent reason. He nods but continues to listen closely, eventually he moves away and awaits me by the scales.

Taking huge deep breaths I clench my fists and step onto the plates of torture. I stare at the wall for eternity as Dr Pierce notes down my weight for this month.

"Right..." he takes another glance at the scales to double check his result before taking my hand and leading me back to the office chair. "Monica, you've gained a lot more than what you ever have before. Not just by a few pounds either. I wouldn't mention this if it fit in well with your results and it is an ongoing increase, however for your check ups, this is unordinary. It makes even less sense when you say you have been vomiting for the past few weeks, I would've expected weight loss." Something about the way he speaks or just his body language warns me, telling me I should brace myself for what he may be suggesting.

The low buzzing of the computers and equipment dotted about the room fills the silence between us as I stare at my clenched fists in my lap.

"What does this mean?" I whisper, barely loud enough for me to hear, yet he sighs and sets my forms on the desk before him.

"Could there be any chance you could potentially be pregnant? Basically has anything happened that could cause you to get pregnant between your last visit and now?"

Tears sting my eyes and I shake my head vigorously, "No no, please don't tell me I am." Reaching across the desk Dr Pierce takes a hold of my hands squeezing them reassuringly.

"Monica, has anything happened?" My head reels and I've lost all coherent thoughts, apart from a voice within me screaming out in terror.

"I-i...yes... it happened maybe 4 weeks ago. The day after was the first day I threw up, but that could've just been from the alcohol, that night I happened to be very drunk." I raise my head slowly, suddenly distant from everything around me and I shake with sobs. Dr Pierce nods understandingly and types something into his computer.

"Okay, by the sounds of things, it's possible you are pregnant. I am just going to get you to take a test to be sure. If you are we can discuss options, maybe you'd like to consult with the father first..." I nod along hearing occasional words, "test" "options" "the father". My heart sinks and tears pour down my cheeks as I imagine Mr Bing sat at his office, most likely wondering what he did wrong on that phone call, worrying about my health. And I'm here possibly carrying his child, fully avoiding any acknowledgement with the guy. Dr Pierce returns 10 minutes later with a test and I am lead down to the nearest bathroom. I try as best that I can to actually pee on the stick; proven very difficult when your hands won't stop shaking. Sniffling I tuck my hair behind my ear and take a deep breath heading back to the doctors office.

"Okay we will have to wait five or six minutes for the results to show. In the mean time would you want to discuss options about pregnancy if it happens to be positive?" Despite my constant sobbing and shaking my doctor is being absurdly understandable.

My head shoots up, "what do you mean options?" If he means what I think he does, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't whether I could actually cope with a baby or not.

"Well if you're not ready for a pregnancy and you're completely sure about that, you could consider an abortion, I am only telling you this because there is only a small frame of time that this option is possible to you. Also, you could go for the adoption route?" He waits for the information to sink in and I just sit for a few minutes attempting to regulate my breathing.

"No." My head shakes side to side, slowly at first but as I get more and more certain with my answer it becomes more of a vigorous shake. "I couldn't do any of those things to a baby. If I am pregnant, I will learn to cope. At least I want to try to cope" Glancing around the room I begin to notice many different pregnancy and baby leaflets and advertisements. At that moment it begins to sink in, I could actually be pregnant.

"That is absolutely fine Monica, you have time to really think about it when we get the results. I'm not saying you are pregnant, it is just to rule anything out." He tells me calmly as my breath catches in my throat and I think I'm about to cry again.

"O-okay" I whisper, staring at the test placed in front of my doctor.

 ** _ **AN: Please tell me what you think of this chapter. I haven't written a long chapter like thi sin a while and in some places it seems a little rushed, mainly because I didn't want the chapter to drag on. I promise I will be writing more and more, this story has become something I am actually getting passionate about. However, I am in my last year of school and with it being the new year it means I only have 5/6 months until my exams, my birthday, prom and my holiday. Whilst I will continue to write I just don't want you guys to be so expectant on a routinely update as I have a lot of studying to do and honestly not a lot of time. Aside that, I REALLY appreciate your guys' support for this story and I am so glad, so many of you are enjoying it. Thank you so much! I love you all... Cloe x**_**


	12. FindingOut

I stare at my computer screen and yet I see no words, it's all a black and white scribbled blur. My mind has taken off somewhere else ever since that phone call. Am I really that bad? Could someone seriously despise the thought of being with me enough to react like that?

The thought turns my stomach, not in disgust, more like the way it does when you're in school as a kid and that group of "populars" choose you to be there next target. Your stomach falls to your feet in a snap.

Movement in the office stirs me from my screen, I take a quick glance mostly expecting it to be someone asking to sign off a file. I'm wrong.

Perfect, soft brunette hair, bright blue eyes, a smile that could light up the darkest of rooms, and a heart that deserves the world. It's her.

Almost timidly she makes her way down the aisle and to her credit looks as if she could give two shits about the people who stare at her as she passes. Her eyes are fixed somewhere in my direction, I immediately run my fingers through my hair hoping I look presentable. Clearing my throat I try to focus back on my screen, acting oblivious.

I just can't.

My heart pounds against my ribcage threatening to burst out at any moment. With every second I try to take deep breaths, hoping it calms my nerves somehow.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see her hand reach out and knock gently against my door. I roll a few centimetres away from my desk in my chair calling, "Come in."

The handle tilts and the door creaks open slowly, Monica's face comes into view and my heart triples, rampaging around my chest.

"Umm- hi..." she mumbles quietly, taking a few steps into my office before closing my door behind her. "I just wanted to talk-"

Her whole body tenses, and she begins to take deep breaths through her nose, he eyes closing. Her hands go to her stomach and in a split second, she darts into the office bathroom on her left.

It takes me a few seconds to catch on before I leap out of my chair, streaking after her as if my life depends on it. I frown at the sight of her crouched Ice-T the toilet pushing against the walls to keep her upright. I watch the colour drain from her face with every passing second, leaving her pale and shaky.

Reaching out tentatively, I move her hair from either side of her face, holding it at her neck, my thumb grazing her shoulder in comfort. Tears slip down her cheeks from the corner of her eyes and I feel so helpless.

Eventually, her body relaxes and she slumps back slightly, her back against my shins.

Shaking her head, she sighs for a second, "I'm so sorry" she whispers, her voice croaky from the recent surprise attack. "Can you just give me a second?" I see her reach into her purse pulling out a toothbrush and paste.

I hold out my hand and help her to her feet, she smiles ever so slightly and I nod, leaving her to get cleaned up.

I stare at the closed door somehow watching her scrub her teeth and wipe her face as if there is no barrier between us. "Sir, could you sign me this file please?" twisting around, I nearly jump five foot in the air, Ashleigh stands there innocently, holding out a document.

I hurry over to her and take the file, tossing it onto my desk absentmindedly, "Y-yeah, I'll sort it... can you just get back to work please? I will bring you the file once it's sorted."

My body shake with nerves, if she sees Monica it'll start something again, and after what I've just seen I don't think Monica's up for that.

Still Ashleigh stands there, looking at me expectantly, glancing at the closed door every so often, "Did I hear someone being sick in here?"

For the love of god! What is it with these people! "Ashleigh! I said get back to work!" I don't mean to yell but she is being so god damn annoying right now.

I just want to speak to the woman behind that door.

Ashleigh growls in frustration and turns on her heels leaving me alone in my office once more.

Mere seconds later, Monica emerges from the toilet, quickly stuffing her essentials back into her purse.

I lean against my desk and grin, I have no reason for it but I can't hold it back, she looks up meeting my eyes, but says nothing.

Her hair is left natural to bracket her face, and that's when I notice, her cheeks seem to be slightly more puffed out than usual, however she is nothing less than beautiful.

Breaking the awkward silence, I clear my throat, "Monica... are you okay?" I ask tentatively, keeping an eye out for any change in facial features, but she just sighs, staring at her feet.

I reach out, gently lifting her chin to look at me, she takes a couple of steps closer, sitting in a chair to my right.

"I'm fine. I have something I need to tell you" she goes quiet for a few moments, her eyes locking with mine and my heart flutters. "But first, I want to say I'm sorry. That phone call... well I reacted like a psycho." She chuckles, a glint of happiness in her eye, "I guess I was just a little shocked and I don't really know. I couldn't remember telling you anything.. that... night." I go to speak and tell her it's okay, however she quickly continues, holding her hands up. "But I promise, you did nothing wrong. That night was...it was... amazing"

Relief warms my body and I breathe out smiling. I wait a few moments, mentally stringing an understandable sentence together. "Im sorry... I should've probably approached it in a better way. Maybe a phone call wasn't the best way to bring it all up. I suppose I didn't know how you would react seeing me again"

Monica shakes her head, "I really appreciate you checking up on me. I was just in a bad place. I don't blame you for not knowing how I would react honestly, even I wouldn't be able to tell you."

Taking a seat beside her I nod, this has got to be one of the best conversations we have had, she seems to have found something to keep her going.

"So...there was something you wanted to tell me?"

Glancing away she nods breathing deeply, "Yes, there was. I don't really know how I should say this, but you need to know." Her hands begin to ball into fists twisting around each other, I reach out and take them in mine, the tension drains from her body and she looks back to me. "Chandler, I- I'm pregnant."

The office drops silent. Her face becomes blurred, my mind hazy, the only thing keeping me in reality is the soft stroking of her thumb over the top of my hand.

She's pregnant. Monica is pregnant. I try to make sense of it all when it dawns on me. She wouldn't be telling me unless. Unless that baby is mine. I'm going to be a father. I...have a child with...Monica.

I try to get something out, suddenly my throat is too dry.

Blinking a few times, my eyes allow Monica's face to become clear again, she is worrying her bottom lip, her eyes glazed over with tears.

In that moment I am totally immobilised, unable to move a muscle.

A tear trickles from the corner of her eye forcing me to reach forward and wrap my arms around her shoulders as her body shakes with sobs. She leans further into me, balling my shirt in her fists.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" she sniffles and even through the fog of confusion, I'm left perplexed. I pull back to look at her and I see that scared woman from so many nights ago, right back in front of me.

"Monica why are you sorry, you've done nothing wrong." I say softly, wiping her tears with the pads of my thumbs, she leans her cheek into my palm.

"Because I-"

Shaking my head I pull her body back into mine, "Because nothing. We are both adults, we both had a part in this. You have done nothing wrong." I sigh, fighting back my own tears. "I won't lie to you I am shocked, but I will be here for you every step of the way."

I feel her nod her head into my shoulder, her arms reaching around my waist, "I just wish I told you sooner" I let go of her so she can continue to explain, keeping a hold of her hand. "The day after it happened I got sick, but honestly that could've had something to do with the amount of alcohol I had. However, it carried on through the two weeks we had off work, that's why I haven't been back since, again I'm sorry for that too." I frown, shaking my head, dismissing the lack of attendance.

"I went to the doctor for my weigh in 2 weeks ago, I told him I kept throwing up and couldn't eat a lot, but I put on a lot more weight than normal. It was strange because I had been sick a lot and so I couldn't understand why I was putting so much weight on. Anyways the doctor asked me if I could be pregnant, obviously I said something had happened. Thinking back to that night I can't even remember whether we used protection. Anyways, the test came back positive. I was only just over a month pregnant, it's still early days. I was so scared and I didn't know what to do, I just knew I had to tell you."

More tears flow down her cheeks and my heart breaks for her, I can see how scared she was. She is.

Thinking back to that amazing night, i try to run everything through my mind that happened. Though some parts are foggy, I too can't remember the protection part and a lump forms in my throat.

I look away guiltily, tears filling my eyes. "Chandler what's wrong?" Monica asks, despite my efforts she notices my upset, reaching out and touching my cheek.

"Monica I can't remember either. I'm so sorry" My face crumples and I feel a few tears trickle from my eyes, " This is my fault. I should've thought about what I was doing, I've never forgotten before. I feel so guilty, I haven't been there for you"

Monica reaches out for me and I cling to her body for some seeking comfort, "Then it is both of our faults, we are both responsible adults. I in no way blame you. It was my fault I didn't tell you as soon as I found out, I just needed to process it. I understand if you don't want to be a part of the baby's life, I get that, it wasn't planned, I just wanted you to know."

My head shoots up from her shoulder and I am lost for words once again.

After a few moments I find my voice, "What are you talking about! Of course I want to be there. I want to be there for you both, because this won't be easy, but I know together we will get through it. Even though it wasn't planned, I am happy, I'll probably need reassuring that it will be fine. I will be there for you, every scan, every craving and every little thing you need, I will be there."

I must've said the right thing because a smile spreads across her cheeks that nearly splits her face in half, and I grin.

" I'm happy too." Monica whispers, grinning. "I have a scan in a month, to see the baby"

Squeezing her hands my heart swells to enormous amounts at the thought of seeing my own child, "I'll be there"

I don't think the idea of having a child has settled in, and I'm certain I will have a few times where I just don't believe the situation, or I will overthink my abilities as a parent. But the thought of not doing this alone, makes me feel so much more relieved. I accept me and Monica aren't together or anything, but there's something within me that's so happy she is the mother of my child.

Together I know we will get through this.

It will take reassurance, there'll be good days and bad, I'll be there for every single moment. I owe it to this woman.

* * *

 **AN: I rewrote parts of this chapter to try and make it a lot better. I hope you guys like it. Sorry I haven't written for a while, a lot has going off as most of you will know. Finishing school early hit me harder than I ever thought it would, especially as it was my last year, some of you will know, we lost prom, leavers day and time with our friends. It took a while for me to come to terms with this, because I never got to actually say thank you to some of my most important teachers. Some have taught me for sooo long, and were there for me when I cried and cried over the many obstacles I hit, especially since Christmas.**

 **Anyways I will hopefully be able to write more for this story as I actually really like it, I've also got another idea for a story so keep a lookout for that in the future!**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading!**

 **I did write a little story of me finding out about the cancellation of exams and everything, and then my last day of school. Would any of you actually want to read this?**


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